You never imagined it could actually get to this point… but here it is.
It’s time to choose you, choose your future, and break the cycle.
Therapy for Cycle Breaking in Dysfunctional Families
When adults come to therapy seeking guidance about the possibility of cutting ties with family members or their entire family, there have been painful, traumatic things happening for years, or even their entire lives. It can be incredibly distressing to realize that sometimes the only way to find peace is to break the cycle and either by removing yourself from that relationship completely or setting very firm (and difficult) boundaries. People may blame you for the trauma you’ve experienced in your family. There can be shame in your choice to end the relationship leaving you feeling confused and stuck in the middle of dealing with other people’s hurt. Ultimately this can leave you feeling more isolated than you were before you started thinking about just walking away.
‘There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
— C.S. Lewis
If you want to break the cycle of family conflict, but know it means having to walk away…. possibly for good….
You may be:
confused and frustrated by the manipulation
feeling unwanted and unloved, like you can’t ever do anything right or a different sibling is ‘the favorite’
dealing with emotional immaturity in a parent or parent figure
scared of causing the same kind of trauma for your own children that your parents caused for you
ashamed, feeling like you’ll never be good enough and that it’s always all your fault
While these family dynamics are (unfortunately) not uncommon, it can be hard to find others who understand what you’re going through. Because it’s so difficult for other people to understand why you’d end relationships with family members, it can feel like there’s a huge stigma about this choice, leaving you feeling deeply ashamed for being at this point.
Being able to share these experiences in a safe, accepting, and understanding space is so important when you’re going through this. Being able to get validation or simply knowing you aren’t alone is a necessary part of both the grieving and the healing process.
It’s time for you to have the space to feel validated and heard, so that you can work through the grief or trauma that’s come with your lived experience.